Photo credit: IMO YouTube Page

Raising emotionally intelligent boys: What does it take?

Modern parenting is full of questions and challenges, and one standout episode of Michelle Obama’s IMO podcast, featuring Barack Obama and Craig Robinson, dives into one big question: How do we raise emotionally intelligent, competent boys in today’s world? Drawing from personal experience, research, and thoughtful dialogue, this conversation uncovers practical, encouraging insights for raising emotionally strong, respectful, and supported young men.

1. The Absence of a Father Impacts How We Raise Boys

Barack Obama candidly shares why he believes raising a son would have been a different experience for him: he grew up without a father and feared that that absence left a gap in his knowledge on how he could potentially raise a boy.

He also mentions that the absence of his father meant that he had to look elsewhere for ideas about manhood that were not necessarily good and how those would have influenced him, saying, “Later on as I got older, you start recognising some of the ideas about manhood that was given to us back in the 70s and 80s not all of them were great.”

• Takeaway: It’s okay to admit uncertainty as a parent. Acknowledging your potential biases or unpreparedness can open the door to learning and growth as a parent if you are committed to raising emotionally intelligent boys.

2. The Importance of Emotional Strength and Vulnerability

The Obamas discuss how emotionally intelligent parenting raises emotionally intelligent men. Barack notes that because he was raised by a teenage mother who often spoke to him about her feelings and encouraged him to do the same, he developed an “internal vocabulary” and capacity to share his emotional state and be vulnerable as a man. Meanwhile, Craig mentions that it was not until he became a father that he started having real, emotional conversations with his male friends because growing up, emotions were to be managed and problem-solved. Michelle highlights the important role of emotional honesty and open communication.

• Takeaway: If men are raised to be emotionally intelligent, they will raise their boys to be emotionally intelligent. Showing emotions isn’t a weakness. It builds empathy and resilience. This is the foundation for raising emotionally intelligent boys.

3. Embrace Community and Role Models Beyond the Family

Michelle, Craig, and Barack agree that shaping boys should extend beyond just parents. It requires mentors, coaches, and community figures. They point to the example set by their father and other male role models as essential to healthy masculinity.

Barack also opens up about the impact his gay professor had on him, highlighting the importance of having men from different backgrounds who can positively impact how boys view themselves and others.

He says, “I had a gay professor in college…who became one of my favourite professors and was a great guy and who would call me out when I started saying stuff that was ignorant.”

• Takeaway: Actively seek out mentors and positive influences, through family, school, clubs, church or sport, to support the growth of emotionally intelligent boys.

4. Boys Need Structure

Barack notes that while much focus has rightly gone to supporting girls, boys deserve equal attention and structure. He says that “as a society we have to create more structures for boys and men to have guidance, rituals, frameworks, encouragement…” This is important because boys need to be able to see pathways for themselves that are not limited to just a few options and to be guided by positive influences who can help them navigate life, their identity and their place in this world.

• Takeaway: Encourage conversations, affirm achievements, and provide safe spaces for boys to explore their environments, identities and their place in the world.

5. Raising Emotionally Intelligent Boys and The Arts

The Obamas discuss the idea that boys need exposure to a variety of interests. Michelle notes that boys should not just focus on sports and video games. Barack mentions that sports were a “scaffolding for me to pull myself into manhood”, but that his mother also took him to the theatre and museums to make him a well-rounded man.

For Barack, boys need to be exposed to the arts and encouraged to feel good about their interests in things that are outside of stereotypical male activities.

Stories like “Mary the Fairy and the Stranger from the Moor“ are a great tool for social-emotional learning and can help introduce kindness and inclusivity through gentle rhymes and folklore.

• Takeaway: Providing boys with opportunities and allowing them the freedom to express themselves in different ways is vital for raising emotionally intelligent boys.

Final Thoughts

Raising emotionally intelligent boys today requires more than rules and structure; it calls for emotional awareness, intentional investment, and community support. From this candid podcast, we learn that acknowledging limitations, modelling vulnerability, prioritising role models, and growing alongside our children are the real keys to nurturing emotionally strong, thoughtful young men.

You can watch the entire episode on the IMO podcast with Barack Obama right here.

The post 5 Key Lessons on Raising Emotionally Intelligent Boys from Barack & Michelle Obama’s IMO Podcast appeared first on Childhood Central.

Mindful sharenting isn’t just a parenting buzzword—it’s becoming a real movement. As more parents weigh the risks of posting their children online, some celebrity moms are taking the lead, showing us that it’s possible to stay connected on social media while still protecting your child’s identity.

These five celebrity mothers have embraced different forms of mindful sharenting, each adding their own unique twist on how to share with care. Whether you’re a new parent navigating digital boundaries or someone rethinking your social media habits, their approaches offer thoughtful inspiration for parenting in the public eye.

What Is Mindful Sharenting?

Mindful sharenting is the intentional, respectful sharing of content about your children online. It draws from mindful parenting principles like emotional awareness, empathy, and protecting a child’s dignity. The idea isn’t to never post—it’s to pause, think, and post with purpose.

Researchers have identified several ways parents practice mindful sharenting:

• Taking photos from behind or at a distance
• Using filters, emojis, or props to obscure faces
• Avoiding names or using pseudonyms
• Posting rarely or only to private channels

These methods aim to balance connection and celebration with safety and consent. The five celebrity moms below each represent a different approach to sharing kids online mindfully.

1. Nara Smith: The Faraway Child

Model and content creator Nara Smith is known for her elegant videos and minimalist aesthetic, often documenting her life at home. When it comes to her children, Nara keeps it subtle. She shares warm family moments, but almost never reveals her children’s faces.

Instead, her posts include gentle glimpses—her child’s hand stirring a bowl, a small foot peeking out from under a blanket, or a silhouette in the distance. This style is what researchers describe as “the faraway child”: a child whose presence is felt without being fully exposed.

🧡 Example from Instagram: @naraaziza shows soft, stylised moments that maintain her children’s privacy while preserving the mood of her content.

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2. Naomi Campbell: The Digitally Processed Child

Supermodel Naomi Campbell stunned fans when she announced the birth of her daughter in 2021 and her son in 2023. But while she shares that her children are a central joy in her life, she keeps their identities off the grid.

Naomi occasionally posts photos of her kids, but always with their faces fully hidden—often using emojis or digital blur tools. This method aligns with the “digitally processed child” concept, where children appear online, but in a way that digitally alters their appearance to keep them unrecognisable.

🧡 Example from Instagram: @naomi includes loving posts with emojis covering her children’s faces, showing her joy while protecting their privacy.

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3. Nicki Minaj: The Pseudonym Approach

Rapper and cultural icon Nicki Minaj has given fans glimpses of her son since he was a baby—but never by his real name. Instead, she affectionately refers to him as “Papa Bear.”

This is a classic case of what researchers describe as the use of a pseudonym: when celebrity parents share about their children but avoid using their actual names. While Nicki does post photos and videos that show her son’s face, the use of a nickname allows her to draw a clear line between her son’s public persona and his real identity.

🧡 Example from Instagram: @nickiminaj features playful family moments with “Papa Bear,” showing how nicknames can add a layer of privacy without removing the joy of sharing.

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4. Halle Berry: The Disguised Child

Academy Award-winning actress Halle Berry is vocal about her children’s right to privacy—and she practices what she preaches. She rarely posts about her two kids, and when she does, they’re often turned away from the camera or partially covered by props like hats, scarves, or shadows.

This approach fits the category of “the disguised child”: a mindful sharenting style where children are present but concealed through intentional framing. It’s a gentle way to include children in a celebrity’s social media presence without giving away their identity.

🧡 Example from Instagram: @halleberry features family photos that are artistic and personal, yet always mindful of her kids’ privacy.

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5. Tika Sumpter: Selective and Obscured

Actress and entrepreneur Tika Sumpter takes a cautious approach to sharenting. Her daughter appears only occasionally on her feed—and when she does, her face is never fully visible. Tika opts for thoughtful, artistic images that obscure her child’s features or show her from the back.

This style blends several mindful sharenting techniques, including minimal posting, selective angles, and obscured features. It sends a clear message: my child is part of my life, but I’m protecting her story.

🧡 Example from Instagram: @tikasumpter shares glimpses of motherhood with intention and care.

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Conclusion: How Celebrities Share Kids Online—With Care

There’s no one-size-fits-all rule for mindful sharenting. These celebrity moms show that protecting your child’s privacy doesn’t mean disconnecting—it just means thinking before you post. Whether it’s using a nickname, showing a hand instead of a face, or obscuring your child entirely, mindful sharenting invites us all to consider: Whose story am I telling—and how can I do it with care?

The post Mindful Sharenting: 5 Celebrity Moms Who Are Doing It Well appeared first on Childhood Central.

Tina Knowles, the powerhouse mother behind global icons Beyoncé and Solange, is opening up about a deeply personal and pivotal parenting decision: putting her daughters in therapy. In a series of heartfelt interviews promoting her new book, Matriarch, Knowles explained how therapy helped nurture the bond between her daughters—at a time when fame threatened to drive them apart.

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Why Did Tina Knowles Put Beyoncé and Solange In Therapy?

Tina Knowles, 71, says the decision came from love—and a determination to protect the sisterly bond between Beyoncé and Solange.

During her appearance on CBS Mornings with Gayle King, Tina explained:

“Because Beyoncé had become this little star in the town, and she was always so close to Solange and kind to her, but then she was in this singing group and everything took place at our house. So the other girls in the group would tell Solange to shut up and be quiet and all that, and I started noticing that [Beyoncé] wasn’t protecting her sister.”

She noticed a growing divide.

“I got a thing about that and I was like, that’s your sister. You don’t let other people talk like that. And [Beyoncé] was like, ‘Yeah, but she comes in and bursts in and wants to boss us around and do steps.’ So I just started seeing this separation and I was like ‘Oh no. Y’all are going to grow up close—whatever I have to do to make that happen.’”

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Her solution? Therapy.

But this wasn’t a popular choice at the time. This was unheard of at the time, especially in the Black community.Tina said:

“My family was upset, my husband was upset. Matthew [Knowles] said, ‘I don’t want any parts of that.’”

Watch the clip (3:21–4:17):

A Mother’s Effort to Protect Solange’s Space

This wasn’t the first time Tina Knowles opened up about her decision to put Beyoncé and Solange into therapy. In a past interview with Maria Shriver, Tina reflected on the early challenges of balancing attention between her daughters during Beyoncé’s rise to fame.

“I was very sensitive to Solange not feeling left out. All the attention and work was going into Beyoncé’s career, so I started taking Wednesdays off from work just to focus on Solange.”

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A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinaknowles)

“I wanted the counselor to help Beyoncé be more sensitive to Solange,” she said.

Watch the clip (1:46–3:10):

Did Therapy Work?

In a recent conversation with Oprah Winfrey, Tina Knowles reflected on the long-term impact of her decision. She still believes it was one of the best parenting moves she made.

Tina’s goal wasn’t to fix her daughters — it was to equip them with the tools for emotional clarity and connection. Her proactive decision to seek therapy for Beyoncé and Solange reflects the heart of positive parenting, where empathy, communication, and long-term relationship building take priority over short-term discipline or appearances.

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Today, their bond is undeniable. Beyoncé and Solange are known for being fiercely supportive of one another, often sharing heartfelt moments in public and online.

Their connection has even graced the stage: Solange joined Beyoncé during her culture-shifting headlining set at Coachella in 2018, and Beyoncé had previously joined Solange on stage during her own Coachella performance in 2014.

These moments aren’t just fan favorites—they’re symbols of a sisterhood that’s been nurtured with intention, care, and therapy.

A Matriarch’s Mission

Tina Knowles’s new memoir Matriarch is now a New York Times bestseller. In it, she dives into the triumphs, challenges, and lessons from raising three powerhouse women: Beyoncé, Solange, and Destiny’s Child original member Kelly Rowland—whom she also calls her daughter.

“Whatever I had to do to make sure my girls grew up close—I was going to do it,” Tina says. And clearly, she did.

The post Why Tina Knowles Put Beyoncé and Solange In Therapy — And Why It Worked appeared first on Childhood Central.

A Venus Williams Barbie is coming soon.

The Mattel Group, the makers of the popular Barbie doll, has announced that it will make a special Venus Williams Barbie doll to honour the trailblazing athlete.

The Venus Williams Barbie is one of nine Barbie dolls that Mattel will be adding to its collection in celebration of its 65^th anniversary.

The 65^th anniversary collection will focus on honouring role models in sports, and Venus Williams being the ultimate role model, is more than fitting.

Cool Stats about Venus Williams, The Newest Barbie

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Venus Williams has been ranked WTA World No. 1 on three occasions. She has seven Grand Slam singles titles, fourteen Grand Slam doubles with her sister Serena, and two Grand Slams mixed. Venus has four Olympic gold medals and a silver Olympic medal.

She is the most decorated tennis player in Olympic history. 

These are just a few of her on-the-court achievements which do not begin the scratch the surface of her amazing career and trailblazing career.

Off the court, Venus is equally a force to be reckoned with.

She was the driving force working with the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) to achieve gender equality which led to the equal prize money at Wimbledon. 

Speaking about Mattel honouring her with the Venus Williams Barbie doll, she said, “Throughout my career, I’ve always been driven by the idea of shattering glass ceilings and staying true to myself, and Barbie’s mission couldn’t resonate more deeply with that ethos,”.

The Barbie Role Model continued, “I’m honored to be recognized as a sports role model and join forces with Team Barbie to continue empowering the next generation of young girls to never stop believing in their dreams.”

Other Women in the Barbie Collection

The Barbie Role Model collection honours nine women including Venus Williams. These women were chosen because “Barbie is thrilled to continue the brand’s 65th-anniversary celebration by recognizing the impact of sports in fostering self-confidence, ambition, and empowerment among the next generation,” said Krista Berger, Senior Vice President of Barbie and Global Head of Dolls, Mattel.

She continued by saying, “The sports one-of-a-kind role model dolls serve as an embodiment of our shared values of passion, empowerment and individuality. By shining a light on these inspirational athletes and their stories, we hope to champion the belief that every young girl deserves the opportunity to pursue her passions and turn her dreams into reality.”

Here are some of the other sports role models in the collection:

Mary Flower from Australia – Footballer

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Mary is 21 years old and has become a key player for the Matildas and Manchester City football teams. She was selected for the FIFA World Cup in 2019 and became the team’s youngest player at 16 years old. Since then, she has been to two FIFA World Cups and the 2020 Olympic Games.

Estelle Mossely from France – Boxer

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Estelle was crowned Olympic champion in 2016 and has won numerous professional and world amateur boxing titles.

Rebeca Andrade from Brazil – Gymnast 

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Rebeca is an Olympic gold and silver medallist and is regarded as one of the best gymnasts of all time. She is a two-time World Championship champion and has won more than ten medals in World Cups.

Why is This New Barbie Collection Important?

For years, Barbie has been criticised for its unattainable image of women and being a bad influence on young girls.

Barbie went through a rough patch with discussions raging on whether or not Barbie was a feminist icon.

The release of the globally successful Barbie movie re-centred Barbie into the conversation with many acknowledging Barbie’s underlining feminist agenda as she has represented the professional woman for decades now.

The Barbie 65^th anniversary sports role models dolls collection is important because Barbie is “bringing together these inspiring stories that are shaping the future to show girls that anything is possible if you relentlessly pursue your passions.”

Additionally, the Mattel Group noted that through its initiatives like the Barbie Dream Gap Project, “Barbie is committed to leveling the playing field for girls globally, in sports and beyond, to close the gap that comes between girls and their full potential.”

It is also important to note that the new Venus Williams Barbie and the other Barbie dolls represent women from all over the world and from all backgrounds. This is a great representation of what women from all walks of life can achieve and is a reminder to little girls everywhere what they are capable of doing.

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The Barbie 65^th anniversary is a year-long celebration and, so in partnership with many retailers. You can find the Barbie 65^th anniversary celebration dolls on Amazon in the Barbie 65^th Celebration store.

The post Mattel Makes New Venus Williams Barbie Role Model Doll appeared first on Childhood Central.

photo credit: Instagram @nickiminaj

Nicki Minaj took her son to the Chicago Aquarium yesterday (23^rd April, 2024) and we can’t get enough of all this cuteness.

Nicki Minaj is in full mom mode as she takes her son to the aquarium. The superstar rapper who is currently on her Pink Friday 2 World Tour took a day off from killing it on stage to have some family fun time with her son and husband.

Minaj shared videos of her happy family time yesterday on her Instagram account.

In the videos, Papa Bear, as Nicki affectionately calls him, can be seen enjoying his day out at the Chicago Aquarium.

Dressed in the flyest outfit, only befitting the prince of Nicki Minaj’s heart, Papa Bear is seen being introduced to a penguin and being encouraged by his parents with an enthusiastic countdown to touch it.

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He touches it, albeit with a little reservation and is congratulated with a round of applause, a high five from his father and a reassurance of bravery from his mother.

In a series of videos shared by the superstar, Papa Bear is seen taking in the wonders of the aquarium. Meanwhile, Mom is attending to him and working out the best angles for videos and photos.

One particular clip shows the Super Bass mom in a tender moment during snack time with fruits on the table as she gives Papa Bear a drink.

The last video in the carousel shows a fantastic dolphin show and Nicki can be heard in the background cheering like a big kid enjoying her favourite show.

This latest post from Nicki is just a reminder that one of the biggest stars in the world is just a giggly mom who wants to have fun with her loving family.

Nicki Minaj and Papa Bear

Papa Bear is the unofficial name of Nicki Minaj’s son. Nicki has chosen not to release his name to the public, instead, she lovingly refers to him as Papa Bear.

He was born on 30^th September 2020 and is her first child with her husband, Kenneth Petty. The couple reportedly had gotten married a year earlier in 2019.

Nicki Minaj had made no secret that she wanted to be a mother and even retired at one point to start her family.

Parenting is such a precious gift and it’s very clear that the superstar rapper enjoys motherhood and we enjoy her sharing those precious moments with us!

The post Nicki Minaj and Son, Papa Bear, Make a Splash at Chicago Aquarium appeared first on Childhood Central.

Serena Williams is pregnant and has the glow to match!

Serena is pregnant again! The tennis G.O.A.T revealed her baby bump at yesterday’s MET Gala which was held in New York.

Posing with her husband, former Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, pregnant Serena Williams showed off her bump in a Gucci gown on the MET Gala 2023 red carpet.

The power couple, who welcomed their first child, Alexis Olympia Ohanian, in September 2016, got married in November 2016. Both parents seemed to be beaming in photos of the evening.

Serena announced on her Instagram, “Was so excited when Anna Wintour invited the 3 of us to the Met Gala.”

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While Alexis took to Twitter to share photos of the evening and the news that Serena Williams is pregnant:

His tweet echoed what Serena shared in the official announcement of her retirement in Vogue magazine in August 2022.

In the article, Serena wrote that Olympia’s dream was to be a big sister and that she “says this a lot, even when she knows I’m listening. Sometimes before bed, she prays to Jehovah to bring her a baby sister”.

Serena opened up about her struggle to give up tennis, a game which she loved and dominated for over 20 years.

In the heartfelt and honest article written in Vogue, Serena wrestled between keeping her career and expanding her family.

She laid out the opposing sides of her well when she said, “I want to be great. I want to be perfect. I know perfection doesn’t exist, but whatever my perfect was, I never wanted to stop until I got it right.”

In another quote, she said, “I’m an incredibly hands-on mother. Nothing is a sacrifice when it comes to Olympia. It all just makes sense.”

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In the end, she determined that it was more important to her to dedicate her time at this stage in her life to her family. However, since she retired from tennis, she has been busy publishing two children’s books and launching a venture capital firm, Serena Ventures.

Olympia has got her wish now that her mother, Serena Williams, is pregnant again. Will she get her baby sister? We’ll have to wait to find out!

The post Serena Williams is Pregnant: Great News – The Tennis Star Announces Second Pregnancy at The MET Gala 2023 appeared first on Childhood Central.

Keke Palmer and her boyfriend, Darius Jackson, have welcomed their first child. Keke Palmer’s baby, Leodis Andrellton Jackson, was born on 25^th February, 2023.

The star, 29, announced the birth of her son on her Instagram.

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The Nope star, noted in a post, that her baby was “Born during Black History Month, with a name to match 😄!”

Palmer famously announced her pregnancy on Saturday Night Live when she made her hosting debut back in December 2022.

At the time, she said, “There’s some rumors going around, people have been in my comments saying, ‘Keke’s having a baby, Keke’s pregnant,’ and I wanna set the record straight — I am!” 

Then she opened her jacket to reveal her baby bump.

Keke Palmer and Darius Jackson have been linked since 2021 when they were reportedly introduced at a party.

Although Keke Palmer and her boyfriend have kept a low profile when it comes to their relationship, when she opened up to Bustle in 2022 she said of her relationship with Jackson, “This is the happiest I’ve ever felt with someone. So why would I go out of my way to hide this person? That’s a lot more work than just living in my life and being in my life. You know what I’m saying?”

However, she noted that she reserves the right to stop sharing at any time.

There has been an outpouring of love and support for Keke and her boyfriend as they enter this new phase of their lives.

Well wishes have come in from Jhene Aiko who also recently gave birth to her first child with Big Sean. Aiko wrote, “congratulations 😍😍😍”. While Big Sean chimed in with, “Big Congrats!!! Welcome to the club 🤲🏾✨” and supermodel Naomi Campbell commented, “Congratulations ❤️💙💙”

We wish Keke Palmer and her boyfriend all the best on their new journey into parenthood.

The post Keke Palmer and Her Boyfriend, Darius Jackson, Have Welcomed Their First Child appeared first on Childhood Central.

Alyshia Miller Powell, model and wife of the retired, Jamaican track star, Asafa Powell, revealed that she experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, Ameike.

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In a recent sit down on the podcast Fast Lane Lifestyle, Miller Powell revealed that it was her best friend, Eva, whom she turned to for help because she didn’t know what she was going through.

The mother of two stated, “I remember even when I moved to Jamaica and I was going through a lot of tough times, a lot of, like, dark times and even after I had….Ameike I went through, I don’t even know what I was going through.”

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She talked about a phone call with her friend Eva in which she felt “sad” and not like herself which prompted her friend to push her to see a therapist.

Her husband, Asafa Powell, said that he also didn’t know what his wife was going through.

In the podcast, Miller Powell, thanked her best friend for suggesting therapy to her and noted that “you saved my life”.

Although Alyshia didn’t go further into her experience with postpartum depression or revealed if she had gone to see a therapist, her admission of her postpartum depression has been well-received by her followers.

Black Mothers, Postpartum Depression and Mental Illness Stigma

Mental illness is still taboo in Black and Caribbean communities. Many studies show that due to historical hardships like slavery and colonialism, structural racism, and poverty, Black people are at a greater risk for mental health issues.

In the US, Black people are more likely to feel sad, hopeless and worthless than white people.  Yet, studies reveal that many Black people struggle in silence with mental illness because of their fear of being judged by others.

In the case of postpartum depression and black mothers, Black women are at a greater risk of the illness than white mothers. Black mothers are also less likely to get the proper treatment they need.

In Jamaica, the prevalence of postpartum depression is significantly higher than the global average.

Being a public figure, Alyshia Miller Powell openly talking about her struggles with postpartum depression is a step in the right direction. Perhaps this will encourage more influential mothers to speak openly about their mental health struggles and tear down the wall of silence.

The post Alyshia Miller Powell on Postpartum Depression appeared first on Childhood Central.

Be a parent not a friend? Michelle Obama believes so but some people have an issue with this.

Should you be friends with your children? This article takes a look at both sides of the debate. Here’s how we break it down.

Be A Parent, Not A Friend: Michelle Obama’s Philosophy On Parenting

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There seems to be backlash from some members of the public who are taking aim at Michelle Obama’s stance that she’s not her children’s friend, she’s their parent.

Michelle Obama talked about her experiences of parenting in a recent sit down with Angie Martinez, Winnie Harlow, Mrs. Tina Knowles-Lawson, Kelly Rowland and Gabriella Wilson (H.E.R.) on the Revolt x Michelle event aired on the Revolt YouTube channel on 15 December 2022.

Sitting down with a group of dynamic Black women from different age groups, Mrs. Obama discussed various topics linked to the themes in her new book, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times. 

The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

See More on Amazon

On the topic of parenting, Mrs. Obama shared that she struggled with being protective of her daughters while giving them space to grow and develop as independent adults.

She said that she used her mother’s parenting philosophy to guide her parenting approach to her children. Mrs. Obama described her mother’s parenting philosophy as “common-sense parenting”. She told the group that her mother would often say that “she wasn’t raising children; she was raising adults”.

For Mrs. Obama, common-sense parenting is making sure that your children can survive in the world without you, letting them make mistakes, and making them realise before they’re 30 years old that the world isn’t fair.

Parenting for Mrs. Obama is making tough decisions that her children didn’t like or appreciated which she took in stride because she wasn’t trying to be their friend.

Mrs. Obama expressed no desire to be friends with her children because her main job is parenting.

When asked by Kelly Rowland, “isn’t there a part of you that wants to be a trusted friend too or do you just put yourself in the parent box?”

Mrs. Obama responded, “no, once you decide you want your child to be your friend now you’re worried about them liking you…there’s so much of parenting that has nothing to do with them liking you. So much of what you’re gonna have to teach them is counter to what they want.”

She continued, “with a friend you want them happy all the time. Your kids have to learn how to live in their unhappiness. They have to learn how to live with unfairness, and they have to learn it in their house. Their first bout of unfairness can’t be at school, you know, or when they’re 30.”

Mrs. Obama’s perspective is that parents who are friends with their children are more concerned with their children liking them. Rather, parents should be concerned with providing the guidance, structure and tools their children will need for the real world.

Being friends with your children in Mrs. Obama’s view would be a real disservice to them because you’re not giving them the tools to survive in the world without you.  

Be a Parent Not a Friend: A Generational Divide?

Although Mrs. Obama made her point clear that she wasn’t her children’s “little friend” because there is a parent-child relationship that involves guidance, structure and authority on the part of the parent, some people seem to take issue with this approach.

Some Twitter users have expressed their discontent with Mrs. Obama’s parenting philosophy to be a parent, not a friend.

One Twitter user wrote a long thread chiding Mrs. Obama’s philosophy and suggested that the alternative is not to have children if you’re not going to be their friend. They wrote, “Black people, you can absolutely be your child’s friend and parent. If you can’t figure that balance and understand why it’s necessary, maybe don’t have kids”.

The thread continued with a criticism of the authoritarian style of parenting that many Black parents often adopt, “a Black child’s first and best friends should be at home. I’ve worked with too many young people over the years who can’t tell their parents anything because that relationship is strictly “do what I say or else”.”

Without any cited data or research, the Twitter user linked Black parents not being friends with their children to “Black children being overrepresented in unaccompanied homeless youth [population] and Black youth suicide”, this was before admitting to not being a parent.

Others agreed with this sentiment, and one person responded, “I couldn’t come to her [my mom] about anything but she truly believed I could. And she would always hit me with the “I’m the parent, you’re the child” even when she knew she was DEAD wrong.”

Another person commented, “Thank You! I love [the] First Lady lord knows I do BUT I cringed when she said that…fortunately, I got parents that [were]not so strict, gave me room to make mistakes, let me know they were my friend and showed me how to navigate through life and identify real relationships.”

However, many in the thread sided with Mrs. Obama. One person commented, “Nope. We can be friends later when they are grown. For now, I’m the parent and my job is to guide them best as I can to independent adulthood. There’s going to be plenty of things to say and demand [o]f them they won’t like. They’ll be mad at me sometimes. That’s ok.”

Another Twitter user commented, “I hear your frustration and I’ve been in the space of empowering parent advocates for 30+ years. I raised a Black child in a world that delights in demonizing & marginalizing Black parents. There are ginormous issues [with] how you frame this swing at BP & spitting Don’t Have Kids”.

Could this be an issue that’s drawn along the generational line? Or is it a misunderstanding of the concept of friendship?

Parents as Friends: What Do the Experts Say?

The prevailing guideline from experts is that parents should not be friends with their children. However, this is not as clear-cut as you would think.

While researchers and psychologists believe that there need to be boundaries and structures in the parent-child relationship, this does not mean that parents should not have a warm, close and even friendly relationship with their children.

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Kai Morgan, breaks it down like this. She says, a parent has to be both a friend and a parent because there are elements of a friendship that are important in a relationship with your child, especially, as they get older.

These elements are supportive, sharing and guiding aspects of a friendship which Dr. Morgan believes should be inherent in being a parent.

From this perspective, parents should have a close bond with their children that will let their children know that they are supported and they can share things with them.

This is a type of secure attachment which is the foundation for strong relationships. The benefits of this are a healthy, open and close relationship between the parent and the child.

However, she notes that the parent-child relationship is unlike a friendship and needs boundaries.

Firstly, the parent-child relationship is not a friendship because the parent and the child are not equals in the relationship. The parent is an authority figure or at least should be. The parent is the one who provides the structure and is oftentimes responsible for disciplining the child.

Secondly, friendships are usually reciprocal with the parties sharing, supporting and guiding each other. While children should feel confident to share things and even sensitive information with their parents, this is not the case for the parents.

In the parent-child relationship, Dr. Morgan says that reciprocity needs to be carefully monitored and parents need to be careful of the things that they share with their children.

For example, Dr. Morgan warns parents against sharing certain information such as their relationship problems and other sensitive information with their children.

Without strong boundaries, parents being friends with their children risk blurring the lines in the parent-child relationship which could have implications for discipline, child welfare and mental well-being.

Research has shown that children whose parents treated them as confidants by sharing sensitive information with them were more likely to be psychologically distressed.

In fact, parents sharing sensitive information with their children did not increase closeness in the parent-child relationship. It produced the opposite effect as children were more likely to worry about their parents.

The research supports Dr. Morgan’s advice about the risks of friendship in the parent-child relationship and the undue burden it can place on the child if boundaries and structures don’t exist.

Despite this, Dr. Morgan thinks that the dynamic of the relationship can change as children become older. In this scenario, the role of the parent becomes less about managing and disciplining children and more about advising and supporting them. This, in her view, can be a friendship of sorts between parents and children.

Wrapping it Up

“Be a parent, not a friend” is a parenting philosophy that is shared by the former First Lady of the USA, Michelle Obama, and many others including researchers and psychologists. However, to be a parent, not a friend, is not that simple and clear-cut.

There are elements of friendship that can be nurtured and beneficial in the parent-child relationship.

However, there need to be boundaries, and parents need to recognise that the relationship is not equal as they are the authority figure who plays the role of the disciplinarian.

Additionally, parents risk putting undue burden on their children if they don’t monitor what they share with them, which could cause their children psychological distress.

Friendship in the parent-child relationship is very nuanced. While many have taken issue with Mrs. Obama’s seemingly old-school type of Black parenting, many have supported her in recognising that parenting is a hard job and there are no prescriptions. Many parents are doing the best that they can do.

Expert:

Dr. Kai Morgan is a registered clinical psychologist in Jamaica. She worked as a Clinical Psychologist at the University of the West Indies as a lecturer and at the University Hospital of the West Indies for 15 years as a consultant in the Department of Community Health & Psychiatry.  In 2016, she started a private practice and consultancy work.

She is currently the Co-Chair of the Professional Practice & Standards Committee of the Caribbean Alliance of National Psychological Associations (CANPA), sits on the Executive Board of the Lister Mair/Gilby School for the Deaf, and is a member of the American Psychological Association’s Global.

The post Be a Parent Not a Friend: Michelle Obama’s Powerful Reflections on Parenting Her Daughters appeared first on Childhood Central.

Congratulations are in order for Big Sean and Jhené Aiko. The musical pair welcomed their first child together. The beautiful bundle of joy, Noah Hasani, was born on the 8th November 2022.

Aiko, 34, shared on her Instagram that:

 “after 24 hours of labour, a total lunar eclipse, and while it was pouring rain, he came 😊 my baby Yoda, my Sani.”

Big Sean, 34, also posted the same message to his Instagram and added, “happy, healthy and everything we could ever ask for and more. Any and everything for you, Son.”

Big Sean and Jhené Aiko have been together since 2016 and Jhené is already mother to a daughter Namiko, 13, from a previous relationship. This is Big Sean’s first child.

A few weeks earlier Big Sean played coy with TMZ when asked about potential baby names. Although he didn’t let out any secrets about the baby’s name, he, however, said that he will be “definitely taking some time for it to be us”.

Big Sean made it clear that he supports paternity leave, and when asked about the topic by a TMZ reporter, he said, “you can’t really put a time limit” on the bonding experience.

Back in October, Big Sean shared photos of his and Jhené’s baby shower captioning the photos with, “Nothing more creative than creating a creation.”

It is clear that the beautiful and talented couple couldn’t wait to welcome their bundle of joy into their lives. We wish them successful parenthood!

The post Big Sean and Jhené Aiko Share News of The Birth of Their Baby appeared first on Childhood Central.